It’s 2018, day one. I wake up in this room that smells like me, now. A mixture of my perfume, my washing powder, my oldest shoes and my newest hormones. Inhaling feels like breathing in peace. The bed has indentations from the curves of my body, and there’s a mark where I absent-mindedly turned the straightener on before I made my morning coffee some months ago. That’s the wrong way round, that bit of the ritual. The coffee I make to place on the window ledge while I get ready and look out onto the London skyline goes before the straightener, but after the hairdryer. These four wonky, not new and not perfect walls make up my fortress, and my funny little routine within them is my solace, in this flat where I so effortlessly dance with those who also occupy it in a rhythm that is full of familiarity,…
With all the roast potatoes, cheese and chocolate flying around, I thought it might be interesting to track how I managed my type 1 diabetes on Christmas Day in terms of insulin doses, blood sugars and general obscure and ridiculous considerations and observations. Please note this is not intended as medical advice, I am merely sharing my personal experience of living with type 1 diabetes in a bid to put the real side of life with this mad, bad condition out there. I’m also entirely aware that the hypo I suffered was a particularly bad one, but I don’t need your medical intervention, thank you anyway. I really like this one, I hope you do too x
Remember Christmas? Remember those heady days of drifting in and out of a nap after one too many roast potatoes? Here I am, two days before Christmas, feeling all dreamy, reflecting on an interesting year and truly indulging in the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas did not however extend to my bad hair day. Just keeping it real.
2017 Lessons: Love your soft bits and your flat bits and your weird bits and your bionic bits. Work hard on the bits on the inside and the outside will shine so much brighter, even if it’s a little paler or squidgier or wonkier than you would ideally like. Let yourself be vulnerable, look for the light and don’t hang onto the things that hurt for too long. Always, always be kind – and that includes being kind to yourself. Do less so that you can give more and ultimately, some people are just dicks. Wishing you love and light for 2018✨💫🙏🏼
PRELUDE. The lights were perfectly dimmed and the colour scheme was on point and the air smelt deliciously mulled and the overall vibe was trendy but not *too* hipster and as the temperature dropped below freezing outside we four sank further into our booth and as we huddled happily together in our window seat it felt relaxed and familiar and chatty and easy and everything you could want from an accidental red wine Thursday in the week between Christmas and New Year. CHAPTER I. I returned to London from Yorkshire last night, back to our rickety, wonky, wonderful flat. After emptying my suitcase, I wrapped myself in a blanket and had a little nap on the sofa (Christmas is tiring, apparently), waking as my housemate returned from her Christmas travels, inviting me to have a few drinks in a pub that sits pretty much at the end of our road. …
The super high blood sugars and crashing low blood sugars that are unfortunately sometimes experienced with type 1 diabetes are often memorable because they are extreme. But for me, they are insignificant in relation to the day-to-day toll that this condition can take on you when you are riding just outside the lines. Testing, dosing, testing, dosing, assessing, calculating, planning, correcting… the background grind of type 1 diabetes is always there, even though – from the outside at least – all is well. In this video I have a little chat about a difficult couple of weeks with my blood sugars, due to a winter cold and a hectic schedule. BUT this is a wholly positive video – I am in an ABSURDLY enthusiastic mood (it’s almost a concern), simply bopping around with my type 1 life. It’s not particularly glamorous, but it’s real. I hope you enjoy this one x
This one’s a little nod to Hypo Awareness Week. I thought it might be interesting to recount my week in hypos (also known as low blood sugar or low blood glucose), which many people with type 1 diabetes experience on a weekly or even daily basis. I chat through symptoms, how I experience them, what might have caused them, and also to show that hypos *DO* happen. But we’re all just trying our best right!?
The injustice of pouring all that you are So lovingly into the molten veins of another Who failed to mention they had no intention Of escaping their own veiled destruction. Steadily they devour your revelatory light Until you come to realise you’re all but extinguished And left at the core of the toxic flames You unknowingly helped to ignite. The delicious heat that draws your bodies together Now scorches the fragments of your desiccated soul The precious alchemy you both created evaporates With one last loving beat of your heart.
And then, it was all in colour again.
Because why wouldn’t your insulin pump completely pack in of a Sunday morning? This video needs no introduction really, so I’ll stop right here. Watch yet another misadventure unfold… and maybe check the expiry date of your insulin once you’re done.