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Wellbeing

Wellbeing

A Year In Review.

January 10, 2018
hand holding a sparkler at a window

It’s 2018, day one. I wake up in this room that smells like me, now. A mixture of my perfume, my washing powder, my oldest shoes and my newest hormones. Inhaling feels like breathing in peace. The bed has indentations from the curves of my body, and there’s a mark where I absent-mindedly turned the straightener on before I made my morning coffee some months ago. That’s the wrong way round, that bit of the ritual. The coffee I make to place on the window ledge while I get ready and look out onto the London skyline goes before the straightener, but after the hairdryer. These four wonky, not new and not perfect walls make up my fortress, and my funny little routine within them is my solace, in this flat where I so effortlessly dance with those who also occupy it in a rhythm that is full of familiarity,…

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Videos, Wellbeing

VIDEO: Time To Reflect

January 4, 2018
girl looking pensive

Remember Christmas? Remember those heady days of drifting in and out of a nap after one too many roast potatoes? Here I am, two days before Christmas, feeling all dreamy, reflecting on an interesting year and truly indulging in the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas did not however extend to my bad hair day. Just keeping it real.

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Wellbeing

Time To Let The Light In

August 14, 2017
dark room in silhouette with bright white window

The music swept over me, and for the first time in weeks I persuaded my brain to concentrate on one thing instead of one hundred things. Apparently trying to hold your leg in the air without crashing to the floor is really good for focus.  As I jabbed and kicked in time, I steadily became consumed by the moves and the music. Lungs are heaving. Heart is bursting. You can almost feel the bad energy being expelled from your being through the sweat. You’ve surrended all caution. You’re in for the duration. The instructor shouted, and we moved (mostly) in time, with varying vigour. Gym classes are a funny thing, aren’t they? A lot of trainers seem to sniff at them; discarding them for the prancers, the faux-fit, those who are partial to a gentle grapevine from the 80s. They’re not for serious gym-goers, is the impression I get from the mammoth-muscled elite. But…

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Videos, Wellbeing

VIDEO: Stepping Back To Move Forward

April 28, 2017
girl smiling at camera

Life can be a lot sometimes can’t it? This is a little day out and about as I adjust to being back in London, changing jobs and getting my feet back on the ground again after spending nearly a year and a half on a LOT of trains. Trying to keep all the balls in the air is not an easy thing for anyone to do so I touch on a few bits and pieces here that are important for me to prioritise in order to stay sane. Oh, and I also get my skin lasered…

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Travel, Wellbeing

Long Distance Life Lessons

April 17, 2017
Underground tube station

Many of my blog posts start as a garbled sentence in my phone’s notes section. Not particularly romantic or considered, but those fleeting thoughts that you need to catch before they slip away don’t work to a particular schedule, and most often come when you should be concentrating on something else. Sometimes the words will pour out furiously, faster than I can keep up with, in one 20 minute commute. Other times I will sit on the sentence, let it fall in and out of my brain, safe in the knowledge that I’ve caught it and made it exist. About six months ago, I scribbled one such sentence. ‘Thoughts on building yourself back together.’ I was in a meeting and it had occurred to me, as I sat there of a very ordinary week day offering my professional opinion to people who were actually listening to what I had to say,…

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Videos, Wellbeing

VIDEO: There Is Always Hope

February 7, 2017
girl in the rain

I know I haven’t written a juicy ramble on here in a while. I miss it. But life has to be lived in order to have experiences to share. My thoughts are all a bit jumbled at the moment, but the words will come, I know that. The videos feel right, right now – poignant, creative, expressive, visual. They’re still stories, it’s just a different way of telling them. And while the world feels a bit jumbled too, we can help each other. There is some terrifying stuff happening out there. But there is always hope.  

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Body Image, Wellbeing

Via Insta: A Journey From Self-Loathing

September 28, 2016
Journey from self-loathing

What a wasted life, those hours, days, weeks, years she spent pulling desperately at every inch and tugging at every corner of this precious house she calls a body. Too broad (shoulders), too fine (hair), too flat (chest), too FAT. Always, above all, too fat. This body that she analysed and scrutinised and then dismissed and mistreated and was desperate to get away from. Wanted to claw out of, so consumed by her hatred of it that it stopped her living her life. That it made her behave in sad, ridiculous ways. The body that she finally, eventually came to see works so hard every second just to give her life, to keep her breathing, to allow her memories, experiences and love. That she rewarded for so long only with loathing, betrayal, an all-consuming wish to have another. Any other.  That woman there now, she isn’t perfect, but she’s healthy…

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Digital, Wellbeing

Internet Overload Is A Thing, People.

August 4, 2016
typewriter

We’ve all been there. Somehow, a whole 35 minutes after you opened your phone and loaded <insert app here> to check or log something, you realise you’re in a deep well of the overwhelmingly ‘meh’ Instagram photos of someone you’ve never met’s pug. You don’t even care for pugs. Your brain has become putty, and your eyes are glazed. Yet still, you scroll. And that book you’ve been reading for months is still sat on your bedside table, 20 pages in. And yes you watched that TV show, but you can’t quite remember what happened because you were definitely idly checking Twitter at the same time, not really paying attention to either screen properly. Research from Ofcom released today reveals that the average adult now spends 25 hours a week online. MORE THAN A WHOLE DAY of their seven-day week. That’s a lot. And I’m 100% front and centre, representing that…

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Fitness, Wellbeing

Via Insta: My Heart Is Officially Whole Again

July 24, 2016
London Fields

Today an excellent consultant told me on official terms that my funky heart is definitely properly working once more, and it’s not about to make a break for freedom out of my chest anytime soon as I once, for a short period of time, feared it might. So I bought myself a frappe latte to celebrate (OFF THE RAILS PEOPLE) and then I went to London Fields, a park which makes me feel very lucky to live where I live. I sat in the blazing sunshine and felt very calm, but also very hot, because although my heart is in full working order, my English skin will never be able to handle the sun. I thought about how my extra bit of heart, now lasered away to a better place, was No Big Deal really, but No Big Deal only because someone decided to devote their life to figuring out…

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Body Image, Type 1 Diabetes, Videos, Wellbeing

VIDEO: Type 1 Diabetes and Mental Health

June 16, 2016
type 1 diabetes and mental health

It’s Diabetes Week. Hooray? It’s great that the focus this year is clearing up misconceptions, dispelling myths and setting the record straight. Education, always. So I’ve made a little video around a topic I feel very passionately about: how living with type 1 diabetes impacts your mental health. I’ve written a long and passionate post on the subject here, and I just think there needs to be greater emphasis on the fact that this is a mental condition as much as it is a physical one. I strongly believe that if this was addressed, the numbers would improve, and we potentially wouldn’t have the highest HbA1c figures in Europe. Potentially. I’ve spoken out to hopefully open up the conversation a bit more, so if this resonates with you please do let me know. I know there’s a ton of things I’ve missed off and I’m also no expert in psychological…

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