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Wellbeing

Adventures, Wellbeing

Long Distance Life Lessons

April 17, 2017
Underground tube station

Many of my blog posts start as a garbled sentence in my phone’s notes section. Not particularly romantic or considered, but those fleeting thoughts that you need to catch before they slip away don’t work to a particular schedule, and most often come when you should be concentrating on something else. Sometimes the words will pour out furiously, faster than I can keep up with, in one 20 minute commute. Other times I will sit on the sentence, let it fall in and out of my brain, safe in the knowledge that I’ve caught it and made it exist. About six months ago, I scribbled one such sentence. ‘Thoughts on building yourself back together.’ I was in a meeting and it had occurred to me, as I sat there of a very ordinary week day offering my professional opinion to people who were actually listening to what I had to say,…

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Videos, Wellbeing

VIDEO: There Is Always Hope

February 7, 2017
girl in the rain

I know I haven’t written a juicy ramble on here in a while. I miss it. But life has to be lived in order to have experiences to share. My thoughts are all a bit jumbled at the moment, but the words will come, I know that. The videos feel right, right now – poignant, creative, expressive, visual. They’re still stories, it’s just a different way of telling them. And while the world feels a bit jumbled too, we can help each other. There is some terrifying stuff happening out there. But there is always hope.  

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Wellbeing

Via Insta: A Journey From Self-Loathing

September 28, 2016
Journey from self-loathing

What a wasted life, those hours, days, weeks, years she spent pulling desperately at every inch and tugging at every corner of this precious house she calls a body. Too broad (shoulders), too fine (hair), too flat (chest), too FAT. Always, above all, too fat. This body that she analysed and scrutinised and then dismissed and mistreated and was desperate to get away from. Wanted to claw out of, so consumed by her hatred of it that it stopped her living her life. That it made her behave in sad, ridiculous ways. The body that she finally, eventually came to see works so hard every second just to give her life, to keep her breathing, to allow her memories, experiences and love. That she rewarded for so long only with loathing, betrayal, an all-consuming wish to have another. Any other.  That woman there now, she isn’t perfect, but she’s healthy…

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Digital, Wellbeing

Internet Overload Is A Thing, People.

August 4, 2016
typewriter

We’ve all been there. Somehow, a whole 35 minutes after you opened your phone and loaded <insert app here> to check or log something, you realise you’re in a deep well of the overwhelmingly ‘meh’ Instagram photos of someone you’ve never met’s pug. You don’t even care for pugs. Your brain has become putty, and your eyes are glazed. Yet still, you scroll. And that book you’ve been reading for months is still sat on your bedside table, 20 pages in. And yes you watched that TV show, but you can’t quite remember what happened because you were definitely idly checking Twitter at the same time, not really paying attention to either screen properly. Research from Ofcom released today reveals that the average adult now spends 25 hours a week online. MORE THAN A WHOLE DAY of their seven-day week. That’s a lot. And I’m 100% front and centre, representing that…

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Fitness, Wellbeing

Via Insta: My Heart Is Officially Whole Again

July 24, 2016
London Fields

Today an excellent consultant told me on official terms that my funky heart is definitely properly working once more, and it’s not about to make a break for freedom out of my chest anytime soon as I once, for a short period of time, feared it might. So I bought myself a frappe latte to celebrate (OFF THE RAILS PEOPLE) and then I went to London Fields, a park which makes me feel very lucky to live where I live. I sat in the blazing sunshine and felt very calm, but also very hot, because although my heart is in full working order, my English skin will never be able to handle the sun. I thought about how my extra bit of heart, now lasered away to a better place, was No Big Deal really, but No Big Deal only because someone decided to devote their life to figuring out…

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Fitness, Wellbeing

The one where I had some of my heart lasered off

April 21, 2016
heart operation

WARNING: This is MAMMOTH. Get a brew, get a brewery. Get ready. Since being wheeled off in an ambulance with a rather stubborn case of SVT (superventricular tachycardia if you’ve got time or the inclination), there has been much prodding, poking and also some abrupt lubricating of my left breast. Headline: I now have slightly less heart than I had before. They blitzed a bit out of my body in a cruel and unrelenting fashion.* *I had a very routine procedure under local anaesthetic, which I was fully in the know about. But that’s not gonna hook you guys in, is it? Oh wait, it was via my groin (there’s the hook…) The right groin if you want specifics, which you probably don’t but since I gave the left breast so much attention last time we discussed this matter, it feels like I should balance things out. A 5.30am alarm…

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Wellbeing

A Tale of Two Cities

April 5, 2016
A tale of two cities burnout

Last December, I split my life in two. It wasn’t conscious in the way that that makes it sound like I sliced it down the middle with a knife. But I very consciously took a job 200 miles from my wonderful home, and my wonderful life. Why? In all honesty, it wasn’t feeling so wonderful. Something had to give. I was burnt out, tired, anxious. My health was suffering. I didn’t ever overtly say it, not like that. Not for the whole year that I felt it in my core – in my soul – did I do something about it. I didn’t feel like I could. I know I’m not the only busy, driven, outwardly happy person out there who has felt like everything they have doesn’t fit together. That all the balls they’re juggling are in danger of crashing to the floor, where it turns out they didn’t…

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Type 1 Diabetes, Wellbeing

Psychological Support for Type 1s – The Missing Link

January 19, 2016
heart

I’ve been pondering this for so long. It’s a biggie. The link between living life with type 1 diabetes 24/7/365, and the mind of the diabetic in question. *adopts brace position* As a diabetic, mental wellbeing is SO freaking pertinent. Vital. Crucial. Mind-blowingly important. And seriously overlooked. Here’s the thing, as I’ve come to understand it, in my non-medical and non-verified experience: Type 1 diabetes this is a condition measured by the physical; the black and white nature of numerical results. Our life revolves around the digits as we test and measure and count and dose. BUT it is a condition that could not be further from being black and white because it is driven and governed by hormones. Weird, emotional, invisible, incalculable hormones. If it were as simple as working out our insulin to carb ratio, we’d all have perfect blood sugars all of the time, quicker than you…

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Wellbeing

Resolution.

January 10, 2016
resolution

Resolution rɛzəˈluːʃ(ə)n/ noun A firm decision to do or not to do something. The quality of being determined or resolute. At the beginning of last year I made New Year’s resolutions to write a minimum of four blog posts a month, alongside dropping a dress size, not drinking in January and learning Spanish. I was as bound by that first definition as you could get. Except that I basically saw none of the above through. I managed the blog promise for seven whole months until something just had to give a little bit, because life will do that. Did I spectacularly fail at resolutions, then? Was I crying into my still cellophane wrapped copy of Spanish For Dummies come February? Does spewing out (oh, apologies, I mean carefully crafting) 50,000 words for free instead of a possible 250,000+ mean I’m worthless and useless at things? According to the first definition up there, yes…

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Wellbeing

Jen’s Happiness Ten: The Podcast Edition

November 29, 2015
Limetown

You know what’s making me really chuffing happy lately? Podcasts. Well, the clue was in the title. Way to give the game away, Jen. But SRSLY, Podcasts. Giving me life. I’ve actually altered my commute to longer but much less aggressive one, just so I can enjoy my podcasts with a slightly reduced risk of being either rugby tackled off the tube, or else catching an STI because my body parts are rammed that close to those of my fellow commuters. Also, podcasts are very much my new running fodder. I used to favour the loudest Swedish House Mafia tracks possible with the hope of drowning out my gasping and tragic breaths, but turns out being gripped by knowledge is a really excellent distraction. Who knew? They also happen to make a great soundtrack for cleaning and cooking. You can have your earphones up to near full volume without the risk…

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