At the hospital presenting myself for the regular prodding, measuring and collecting that type 1 diabetes demands (to the point that type 1 admin has its own colour code in my calendar).
Copied this shot from @diabetesia.se who is doing the exact same in a hospital in Sweden and her photo made me appreciate the unintentional Instagram aesthetic of this floor. Shoutout to my witchy feet and questionable tan lines.
I know clinic appointments are important, but the tired admin system means that the process can feel regimented, impersonal and one-sided. Due to moving about I’ve attended a lot of clinics with very different ways of doing things, and at one point coming here felt like a box-ticking exercise and I hated it. I hate that I can’t discuss my HbA1c because they don’t take my bloods until after the appointment. I hate that I have to repeat my hospital blood tests at the GP because they just can’t seem to talk to each other. I hate that I have to play this game on my own time.
BUT the staff at this hospital have never judged me, ever. The nurses here put me on a pump without hesitation, like they’d been waiting for me to ask all along. The consultant is forgiving about the fact that I’m often not in the country, and they’re the first team I’ve EVER had that are happy to pick up my questions on email. While some have considered my constant use of temp basals an issue even though my body and hormones don’t care to work the same way two days in a row, they’re happy to let me crack on because they can see that it works for me.
An out of date, overstretched and under-funded hospital system cannot be perfect and there’s so much more I would wish for, but I can appreciate that the dedicated people who walk these floors day in and day out are also aware that I’m a human, not just a hospital number and are simply doing the best they can within the constraints of the system to make my care feel personal. It’s a bi-annual box check to a point and then it’s an ongoing dialogue that is trusting of me and my diabetes management, which makes me so much more relaxed about attending these appointments at all. Sometimes you’ve just got to work with the system, and appreciate those that are doing the same.
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