Giving myself a big, juicy hug for staying alive with type 1 diabetes for T~W~E~N~T~Y F~O~U~R Y~E~A~R~S today.
I don’t think there’s cause to celebrate this chronic chaos and the way it crashes into a person’s existence, but I can and will absolutely celebrate myself for working tirelessly to replicate an actual organ each and every day while trying to figure out this little life and the charming, imperfect, magical mess within it. Some days I’m spectacular at ‘doing’ diabetes and other days I’m spectacularly frustrated, but either way I can acknowledge that I’m trying and that’s enough. And that no matter what the numbers say – the endless blood sugar readings and the daily carb counts and the enduring time in range targets – I do not fail, only learn, because if I’m trying then I get to continue to LIVE, and that’s probably my greatest achievement.
My chronic illness doesn’t deserve my appreciation. It’s a drain on my head, my body and – at frequent intervals – my heart. But I AM appreciative of the tiny vials of lifesaving insulin that I literally wouldn’t be here without, and the fact that I have free access to it without question which is not universally the case. For the technology that has freed up my headspace so that I can make memories which have nothing to do with diabetes. So that I can fill my mind instead with other crucial rumination such as ‘which country should I visit next?’, ‘where DID I leave my keys?’ and the eternal, unanswered quandary: ‘red, white or rosé?’
Of the compassion, connection and resilience it’s given me, the incredible care I’ve received from the NHS and a far-reaching circle of kind, considerate and curious humans whose arms are always there outstretched when I’m falling, as we all inevitably sometimes do.
Whether you’ve been existing for four days, four years or 84 years with type 1 diabetes this hug is for you too. Bloody hell I miss hugs. In fact anyone who needs this one, it’s yours – life is a lot for a lot of people. I know the lessons will keep on coming, but with that so will the charming, imperfect, magical mess. And I’m pretty ok with that.
6 Comments
Congratulations! It’s hard to put up with sometimes. 54 years down the line for me.
Hi Claire! Wow that’s such an incredible achievement – which feels like a funny thing to say because obviously we have no choice but I totally appreciate the work it takes every day! Thanks so much for reading, your comment is much appreciated x
Heart warming message Jen. Good on you for putting it out there and spreading some love and compassion within our community. The mental side of this is way under-appreciated
Hi Jon, thanks so much for reading and for your comment. I totally agree – it’s definitely the mental and emotional side of things that can threaten to take its toll for me personally. I hope you’re enjoying your weekend and the BGs aren’t misbehaving too much.
Happy 24th Dianniversary, your amazing and sound like a great person 🙂
Nic | Nic’s Adventures & Bakes
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read. I hope you’re having a great weekend x