It seems appropriate on #WorldMentalHealthDay to have a little chat about standing up in front of a room full of clinicians to discuss the psychological impact of living with type 1. Slightly surreal for a Tuesday morning sure, but I’m pleased to report that my jokes landed surprisingly well.
I’m fortunate to have (thus far) not experienced clinical mental illness, but I am acutely aware of my mental health, and how intrinsic it is to whether I feel equipped to meet the needs of my fluid and very demanding chronic illness.
Type 1 diabetes asks as much of the brain as it does the body, but unfortunately the clinical care I’ve received in 22 years has never acknowledged this. Everything I FEEL, every hormone, impacts my blood glucose levels to some degree – something which took me decades to figure out, and now it’s the most important tool I have in being able to work with my illness, and to work with those numbers that we are so bound to, defined by and measured against, every day as we work so hard to simply stay alive.
The enormity and the mundanity of all of this can really take its toll. There’s no airplane mode for trying to imitate a pancreas. And yes, some days are fine. But existing with diabetes and living WELL with diabetes are very different things, and having support in place for those times when the endless testing and the dosing and the counting and the planning and the thinking tips you into the darkness needs to be there.
I was so reassured and heartened by yesterday – there are wonderful healthcare professionals (of course) who want to address the gaping void. To ask, ‘how are you coping?’ instead of incessantly taking my height and asking me to aim my urine into the world’s smallest test tube.
I’ve been apologetic in the past about speaking up because the NHS is wonderful and this condition’s ‘not that bad’, but there are bits of it that really can be. I believe so strongly that if we address the emotional needs those numbers might just start to add up. And thanks to the likes of the DSN Forum, Partha Kar and their unwavering dedication, not least to bring so many fantastic and willing NHS brains together for such an event, steps are being taken to do just that.
Thanks to the wonderful DSNs, clinicians and consultants who attended Mind Over Matter and made me feel like the diabetes community have a voice. My talk was listened to, and more than that – from the response I got in the room and online, I felt like I was heard. We are planning to record the speech so I hope that I’ll have that to share soon. I certainly felt the responsibility of speaking on behalf of the diabetes community, which was a great honour and a privilege, so thank you to Partha for inviting me and entrusting me with that role.
Please know that no one is alone in this. We’re all wading, alone together. So big, big love, not least for wading through this post 💛
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